For most of my life I have been craving for a role model, someone older, that I can goto for advice but also have a comfortable friendly relationship with. I don’t know if its because my mum died when I was five and I’ve really never been able to talk to an older woman parental figure or if it’s just a need to get help from someone.
I do have a lot of unresolved issues and talking about them to my boyfriend is getting harder and harder as time goes on because I’ve started to treat him the same way I treat my dad, its just to weird talking about that kind of thing. It’s just that he never has anything advice, he just wants to know whats on my mind, but I can’t bring myself to talk about it because it seems pointless forcing myself to go through the pain of talking about it again because all he wants me to do is stop being upset.
So the only people I have to talk to are my older friends, this one guy I used to be able to do about half half, talking about normal things and then talking about real stuff but the longer all of this goes on the more I want to talk about serious stuff, so I back of cos I can feel it suffocating the relationship. a lot of friends have been telling me to goto counselling but I know I won’t go if someone doesn’t make me.
I’m really stuck. I want advice from an older friend but I can’t get all I need from them… I can’t solve my problems by posting them on here either. But the rut I’m in, there isn’t any motivation to go to counselling.
Pickle.
Does anyone have a mentor type figure because they can’t rely on there parents? Or is the only option some stranger?
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March 20, 2008 at 9:42 pm
AJ
I’ve always wanted to hire a life coach. I think one can find advice in the most unsuspecting places. It could be a hair dresser. I found some good advice with the older ladies that attend my bowling league. I would try volunteer work with seniors, maybe. I also started attending church; I’ve gone every Sunday this year. It’s a place where I find my inspiration.
What I’ve found is that once I stop thinking/talking/obsessing about my issues and I listen/observe others, how they view/cope etc… I learn a lot. I’m working really hard to get out of my own head. Reading also helps this. My current favs are “Eat, Love, Pray” and “When Things Fall Apart”.
March 20, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Noodle
I’m a big fan of John and Stasi Eldridge, there also christian authors. Really great. Reading helps, so does watching other people I do that alot, and alot of it has helped but I usually end up with more questions than I started with.
I’ve also found there arn’t alot of people that have been through what I have, or there arn’t alot of older people willing to talk about it.
Thanks for you comment though, not many people comment on my blogs